My emotional sensitivity dictates me to write and be able to express my sentiments. After this I shall talk no more.. I longed for the good old days when we were still in one roof sharing the joys, the laughters, and the sorrows of our young hearts. The forcible maturity of our fragile mind caused by the adversities in our respective lives.
Now, I am deeply saddened by the abrupt freezing coldness of our warm cousin-friend relationship. Am afraid that it would turn into hatred. Wish it could be saved.. Want to tell that I have no ill-feeling towards you, but I wonder to heavens why you feel such way. Where did I go wrong?
I was not a bad influence to your brother. He has been into it long before we met. You should ought to know that, X. About the incident, please spare me from the blame. I may be instrumental for having you known the person but I was totally out of the scenario came that fateful day. I may have built the bridge, but if you stumble and get hurt or worst fall down as you cross along, please don't point your accusing finger at me. Hope you get what I mean.
I may have lived my life not bounded by moral virtues, but this is me, a typical human being vulnerable to all forces that come across my way. But do I have to be hated and condemned? Please don't. I beg you to see the other side of me..
Our auntie dislikes things about me simply because I'm not the obedient nephew who always comply to whatever she says and dictates. She projects me as a bad person 'coz I always insist on what I believe is right. She loves those who bow their heads once she starts her conventional litany taken from her already rotten box of self-perceived righteousness. Pity for those who pretend to be obedient, they are just fooling their own selves. God knows my futile attempts to win her. I can do nothing else but to accept the painful truth.
Need to mention that I am striving hard to capture people's heart. If befriending them is a sin, then I might be wrong. Please let know I just want to belong. But you misunderstood me. 'Til I tend to believe that something is indeed wrong with me. Now am struggling it out and I swear, battling against one's own self is the hardest struggle someone has to undergo throughout his existence..
Here I am, though not begging for sympathy, lowly seeking your understanding. Please realize that I am not a super-hero nor am I an extraordinary person worth of emulation, praise, and adulation but rather I am an ordinary human capable of committing mistakes and able to do good things, too. When time comes, I wish you shall not regard me as you perceive for the moment but will remember me as a simple person who has able to survive when fallen..
Y
